Objective To explore the relationship between empathy and psychological resilience of adolescent parents and the role of mentality in it. Methods In June 2020, a total of 600 parents of a middle school in Beijing were investigated by using empathy scale, psychological resilience scale and reflection function scale. 588 valid questionnaires were collected. The mediating effect was analyzed by using model 4 in SPSS 20.0 Process v3.4 plug-in. Results The differences in total empathy [male (91.04±10.58),female (94.53±9.95)], total psychological resilience [male (91.61±15.43), female (87.87±13.45)] and over-mentalization of parents of adolescents of different genders [male 1.00 (0.33, 1.67), female 0.67(0.33, 1.33)] were statistically significant (t=-3.502, P < 0.01; t=2.523, P < 0.05; Z=1.962, P=0.05). There are statistically significant differences in mentalization deficits [urban 0.33 (0, 0.50) vs rural areas 0.33 (0.17, 0.67)] and over-mentalization [urban 0.83 (0.33, 1.50) vs rural areas 0.67 (0.17, 1.17)] among parents living in urban and rural areas (Z=-2.735, P < 0.05; Z=3.156, P < 0.05). The higher the level of education, the higher the total psychological resilience [High school and below (83.58±14.99) vs College/undergraduate (88.99±14.23) vs Master and above (92.34±10.84)] and excessive mentalization score [High school and below 0.50 (0.08, 1.25) vs College/undergraduate 0.67 (0.08, 1.20) vs Master and above 1.00 (0.50, 1.67)], and the lower the mentalization deficit score [High school and below 0.18(0.17, 0.83) vs College/undergraduate 0.33 (0.17, 0.83) vs Master and above 0.17 (0.00, 0.50)] (F=11.592, P < 0.01; Z=21.355, P < 0.01; Z=7.645, P < 0.05). In terms of mental resilience, strength, optimism and empathy are positively correlated (β=0.30, P< 0.01; β=0.16, P< 0.05), and personal pain is negatively correlated with strength (β=-0.24, P< 0.01). In terms of mentalization, there is a positive correlation between mentalization deficits and total empathy scores (β=-0.28, P < 0.01). In addition, over-mentalization is positively related to transpositional consideration and empathy (β=0.25, P < 0.01; β=0.15, P < 0.01). The total score of mental resilience is negatively correlated with mentalization deficits (β=-0.14, P=0.001), and positively correlated with excessive mentalization (β=0.32, P < 0.001). In addition, the total psychological resilience score is positively correlated with transpositional consideration and empathy (β=0.37, P < 0.001; β=0.14, P=0.001), and negatively correlated with personal pain (β=-0.41, P < 0.001). The level of mentalization plays a part of the mediating role between the mental flexibility and empathy of adolescents' parents. Conclusions The mentality level of adolescents' parents as an intermediary variable plays a certain role in regulating psychological resilience and empathy.